lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
