If i come over, it means nothing
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Girls should come with a carfax report
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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