Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
