I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
