she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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