I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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