it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
