I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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