Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize