I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
