Me too!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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