I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize