yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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