Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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