I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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