never play flip cup with pint glasses
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
