im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
