I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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