I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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