Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
