i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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