i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There's even glitter on my cock...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
