Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
