I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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