I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Couch. On fire.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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