I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
