WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
