Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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