Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
