Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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