This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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