He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
