yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
