Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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