last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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