Everything about him screamed your future.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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