I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
