even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
