in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
