I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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