i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Someone came in the potted fern
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
