so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
