how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
