I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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