I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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