I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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