just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
