Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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