he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
