So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
