I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
