1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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