hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
