So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
