He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
kristin has been a bad kristin
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize