Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
