i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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