dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
