I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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