How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
