we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
