Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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