Swine flu. Run for my life!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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