How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
