let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
