She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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