She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
