Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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