i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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