FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize