swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
